3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Every concussion has its silver lining
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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