I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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