Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
