You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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