his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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