So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
