We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
It's shark week go big or go home
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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