I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
