i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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