I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
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