your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
