question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize