I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
