i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Quick, to the slutcave!
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
pray to the hookup gods
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
