I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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