I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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