They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
