Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
