You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize