Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize