whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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