I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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