He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
