Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
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