I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Randomize