i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
