As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
