just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
You should frame my arrest warrant.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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