I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
