So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
