So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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