nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
