If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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