I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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