do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Everything about him screamed your future.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Randomize
