I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
