belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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