if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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