Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
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