I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
