There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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