she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
