I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
The dick lei will go down in squad history
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
