If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
