i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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