hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
