Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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