you guys were way drunker than both of me
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
