The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize