I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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