yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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