she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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