halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
