My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
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