Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
