I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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