Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Randomize
