omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Two words: nipple clamps
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