tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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