69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
