I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
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