Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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