Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
