Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Randomize