So drunk its hurt
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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