i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Randomize
