So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Randomize
