Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
